Tips & Advice For Actors

MY EXPERIENCE WITH ACTING AUDITIONS.

When I was younger, just before my teens, without even trying, I landed a part in a film where Meryl Streep was attached to the project.

 

It was exciting. For the next 20+ years, I saw myself on TV once or twice every year, and a half or every two years.

 

In my early twenties, I became really sick with lung issues and terrible body stiffness, bordering on arthritis, so I could barely get out of bed, and I had to take medication that was prescribed for senior citizens. I weighed 93 pounds at 5' 11". Lucky for me, my face was never gaunt, so in the winter I would put on extra layers of clothes for my auditions.

What was so frustrating was that doctors could see that something was wrong, but with no real diagnosis.

I thought I could continue auditioning however, before and after I finished I started to faint. 

 

At the time I was so broke I could not make it to any of my auditions, and I didn't know what to do anymore.

 

Back in my teen years I had walked away from the street life, in which all my former friends were enjoying the fruits of their drug enterprise.

The deal I turned down was very lucrative. The old timers in my neighborhood, who were supposedly retired wise guys, made guys trust me enough to propose a business deal or partnership. But because I saw a different life for myself, I walked away from it all.

 

After awhile, I began to rethink my decision. Perhaps I had made a mistake, but each time the thought arises, something inside me said, "You have to continue. It's going to be hard, but you can do this!"

 

My mother, God bless her heart, every now and then would give me 100 dollars for Christmas and buy nothing for herself all year. The gift was supposed to be for clothes, but instead I used it to buy metro cards to get from one audition to another.

 

For four years, I clung to the hope that one day I would land another job that would change my life and possibly get my family out of the Bronx.

 

Once all my money was gone, there went my dreams.

So it was all for nothing, I thought... wow, I must suck badly, maybe there might not be room for someone like me in this industry after all... but leading up to what would change my life forever, it took a long time to get there and recognize the situation.

 

For years, I was hopeful, but I began to get depressed and then angry. I thought, "Who can last out here for this long?"

 

I remember I would organize my auditions around Time Square and finish off my day by the Viacom building, where loads of teens and young adults would gather hollering at Carson Daly, the host of TRL on MTV.

For awhile, I thought about how I could attain success without all the rejection.

 

Or why can't I direct and write, and how would I get the money to produce it? And who would publish my books? We're talking before Amazon and other book platforms online — those dreams seem pretty dismal. So I really didn't know exactly what move I should make.

 

My anger was reaching a boiling point. My heavy metal musician days seemed to have died a long time ago, but something woke up inside of me and I began to finally explode.

 

Who are they to hold the keys to people's dreams? I thought to myself, "Fuc* you all!"

 

It was right then and there, while everyone was cheering and waving to the cameras, I took the opposite approach.

 

When Carson turned his back to the window, I gave him the middle finger; it became a running gag; could he catch me doing it?

Other kids began to follow my lead, and we became famous for fifteen minutes. I became known as The Middle Finger Guy, and they were The Middle Finger Kids. It felt weird to be famous for nothing.

 

What I did not realize then was that I did not need an acting role to change my life. What I needed was another wake-up call.

 

In the following years, I practically gave up the business. I began to think about how I could find another way into the industry, and I realized that I had this conversation with myself before... so it was pointless.

 

I was once again broke and desperate. The bills were piling up, and when the marshals put a notice of eviction on my front door, I felt like the biggest loser. It also brought back old memories of when my family and I were almost homeless when I was a child. 

 

There I was facing the same situation again. I began to select what stuff of mine I would sell and leave behind. I even tried to remove the chip from my HBO Box, but it was impossible.

So I thought it would be better to throw it out the window and maybe I could retrieve it and sell it. Yeah, not the best idea, I know.

 

So, with the box dangling outside my backyard by the end of the plug, held down by the base of my window, all I had to do was open it and hope for the best.

 

At that very moment, the phone rings. It was an offer to be an extra on a film set. Months earlier, my brother had dragged me to an audition way out in Queens. We were able to stay in our crummy Bronx apartment with the money we had earned. 

 

The situation hit me hard. I needed to find a way to be more self-sufficient... I promised myself I would never allow another situation to bring me that close to the edge again.

So, without a wing and a prayer, we had a crazy idea that I thought would surely fail epically. I started a successful recording studio with my brother Chris, with seven hundred and fifty dollars, and founded Vision Image films In addition, I have self-published more than ten books on Amazon. At the moment, I am raising funds to produce an adaptation for all my books... and yes, I have a bit role in most of my projects.

 

I also managed to overcome a good amount of my illness and packed on more than a hundred pounds and started body building... almost going pro.

 

And while I was making my dreams come true, a lot of my friends were either murdered or in prison.

 

The expensive cars, gold chains, and hidden stashes were raided by the authorities, and they were left with nothing.

 

What I've learned is to never give up on your dreams for short-term gratification and to never rely on others to help make your dreams a reality. Do it yourself!

 

Then you can achieve your goals.

 

By the way, if you're wondering, whatever happened to the HBO Box? I still have it in my closet. It's in good condition, and I keep it as a reminder to always... always stay humble.

... and if you see the cable guy knocking on my door looking for me. Tell him I moved, cause he is never ever getting the box back!